News of the Weird
The Low-Down On Bar Fights
By Bob Hudson
Jun 3, 2010 - 9:48:44 AM

It usually starts with too many drinks, slurred swearing and shoving. One drunk finally says something like "What-cha gonna do about it?," and of course the other drunk replies, "What are you gonna do about it?" And finally, it’s on.

Author Jonathan Miles has penned an essay on barroom brawls that you’ll find in the July issue of Men’s Journal, and it’s a must-read for anyone who likes to open a can of whip-*!# on a Friday night. Miles talked to bartenders, bouncers and barflies about the main causes of these battles. Drunks, women, politics, sports and even the song played on the bar's jukebox.

First, a bar fight is usually an amateur's game, sometimes lacquered with a gloss of comedy. Miles illustrates this with the story of a brawl he fought in a Mississippi saloon over how rotten his old girlfriend was, when she showed up. When Miles tried to put the moves on her, the two men ended up strangling each other and she left in disgust. And he also includes some tips on how to win a bar fight.

Miles points out that testosterone and alcohol play a large part in this, so most bar fights involve young males. But occasionally women will brawl, and most men will watch rather than stop it. A spectacle of hair-pulling and face-scratching that he likens to watching “Shark Week” on the Discovery Channel.