Women's Interests
How To Get Your Man To Help You Around The House
By MSN Lifestyle
Dec 21, 2009 - 8:31:08 AM

Q: My husband is very handy and will do anything for anyone — except at home. I understand that he works hard and is tired at the end of the day. So am I, but I still fix dinner and do laundry, etc. I don't ever ask him to help with the housework, but I do ask him to do little fix-its. He always tells me he'll do it Saturday, then never does. It's very annoying that he won't ever help out. How can I let him know how much this bothers me in a tactful way?
— S.H., 28, Salt Lake City

A: Forget letting him know that it bothers you. He already knows. He knows and, I hate to say it, he doesn't much care — because whatever little fix-it you want him to do, there's always going to be another one down the pike. Unless the house is on fire, there really is no reason for him to hop to. The only thing that has a prayer of working is to turn your way of thinking completely around. Forget what he doesn't do and focus on what he does do.

Ask him to fix something, and when he doesn't, ask him again. Just keep asking nicely, without editorializing. Say, "I'd love it if you could fix the leak under the sink this weekend, hon." If he doesn't do it, on Wednesday say, "Is there a chance you could fix the leak on Saturday, baby?" It will take all of your wifely strength not to say, "Oh, my God! How many times do I have to ask you?" Then, when he finally does fix the sink, thank him lavishly. This will reinforce his good behavior. Anne Sutherland writes all about this in her funny and insightful book, What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers.

How to thank him? Cook him something fabulous, drag him into the bedroom , or both.

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